Can you believe it, it's 2015! Just when I got used to writing "2014". Every new year there's a rush of new year's resolutions. And every February they seem to be a distant memory for many people. What winds up happening during the holidays is people eat too much, drink too much, have to encounter the stress of family, or absence of loved ones. You come into the new year at less than optimal functioning, and the resolution is an extension of this feeling of malaise and inadequate.
All too often, you may make well intentioned decisions from this place of poor self-worth. You may feel too sloppy, too unmotivated, overweight and moving in the wrong direction. If only you could do that one thing, or few things, you'd be better, right?
In my experience, such sorts of beliefs are rarely successful. If you are motivated by regret, chances are you'll do just enough to compensate for guilt. What works much better is to be motivated by happiness. Deep down inside, all of us want happiness. We may gravitate towards the safety of our familiar routines, even if they don't make us happy. The new year can be an excuse-- or a reason-- to trade in the safety of your ill-fitting comfort zone for the novelty of a happier life.
What I'm saying is that if you realize your intention behind your resolution is to be happier, you're more likely to follow through on happiness generating behaviors. This is what the key to maintaining healthier living is. All the facts about unhealthy behaviors like drinking excessive alcohol, smoking tobacco and eating unhealthy foods usually wind up getting tuned out by the people who need to learn about these things the most. However, if you realize that feeling sluggish, hungover, tired and bloated is in the way of a more lasting, sustainable happiness, you're more likely to become disciplined in your approach.
If you know you need to make a change but are unsure of what to do, here are some suggestions:
1) Eat more fresh fruits and vegetables. Most Americans don't get enough, and buying fresh fruits and vegetables should be a part of your daily lifestyle.
2) Meditate every day. I'm sure you probably do the basics daily to take care of your body-- bathe, brush your teeth, etc. Do you spend some time every day taking care of your mind? You can check out this resource here if you struggle with stress, chronic anxiety or rumination.
3) Cut out activities that interfere with your ability to meditate. Once you get into the routines of daily mental health care, you'll notice that certain activities seem completely outside the area of acceptability.
4) First and foremost among these is to stop watching cable news. I don't care if you're liberal or conservative, cable news deliberately pulls for the most primal and divisive instincts to generate ratings. They aren't keeping you informed, they're keeping you hooked!
5) Cut down or eliminate alcohol. You'll notice the change in your body and in your meditation practice.
6) Go for a walk as often as you can. It's a great alternative to being boxed into cable news!
If you follow some or all of these tips, my hope is that you can develop a more loving relationship to your own tired mind, and feel healthier and happier in the process. Remember, happiness is not a finish line, it's a process full of ups and downs. The key is to keep yourself trained to notice when happiness is happening.
Happy new year!
Showing posts with label #health. Show all posts
Showing posts with label #health. Show all posts
Sunday, January 4, 2015
Tuesday, December 31, 2013
5 New Year Resolutions Worth Keeping
At the end of every year, we do the same old song and dance. Hours of TV on which celebrity did what, slept with who, went to rehab, got into a fight, married, divorced, had a kid. Who lived, who died, all smushed alongside the most memorable videos of the year. This year I'm sure will be filled with the likes of Miley Cyrus, Duck Dynasty and a host of other characters I would be embarrassed to explain if I was every abducted by aliens.
And then there's the shallow media hype of the mythical New Year's Resolution. You're supposed to wake up January 1st to a new you, start shedding those holiday pounds, quit smoking and do otherwise obviously healthy behaviors on the endless list of shoulds. Some of you will stick to your plans. Some will become sidelined and fall into the familiar embrace of guilt and shame at the end of this year, only to repeat the cycle until life hits you over the head with a sledgehammer as to why these healthy behaviors were a good idea in the first place.
Here's my advice to you on what would help all of us. Some of it has a research-base, others are just common sense I've picked up from the past 15 years of end-of-life care. It's a good idea to have these as general lifestyle choices, not just for the first few months of the year.
1) Seriously, exercise. It's the best medicine. Start out slow. Your goal should be about 20-30 minutes of moderate exercise 3-4 times a week. This is the therapeutic dose that has positive effects on your heart, mind and emotions. More is fine, less is not as good. If you don't exercise, see a doctor first to make sure you don't have cardiomyopathy or something like that. Don't wait.
2) That meditation practice you've heard and read so much about? Guess what? It really works. You'll be hearing more and more about it this year. Stick to it. Spend some time every day meditating. The therapeutic dose is about 20 minutes twice a day. Few people can do that if they haven't sat down to meditate before. You can find some guidance here on how to get started. You have time for all the stress and worry in your life, you might as well squeeze some stress management into it.
3) Say "I love you" to everyone you love more often. Say it every day. Love is powerful, way more powerful than any of our individuality. When you're in a hard emotional place, a loving companion, be it a spouse, partner, child, friend or parent can usually make it all better just by being there. If you don't have direct companionship, use social media. Reach out and get connected.
4) Listen to music. Turn on music every day. Use it in the background. It can structure times of great stress and uncertainty. If you're grieving, it's a much more wholesome way to drown out the silence of your home than the jarring sounds of television.
5) Laugh every day. Find something funny to read, watch or listen to. In all the commotion about self-care, laughter is often left out. The best way to transcend hardship sometimes is to laugh at the absurd predicament we're all in. Emotional pain isn't funny-- what's funny is the nearly comical way we go about our lives, obsessed with what turn out to be the tiniest, most insignificant details. We lose the big picture. Can't find something to laugh about? Here's a start.
The most important thing to remember about your resolutions: you're more likely to stick to them if they are about what you want to do rather than what you don't want to do.
And then there's the shallow media hype of the mythical New Year's Resolution. You're supposed to wake up January 1st to a new you, start shedding those holiday pounds, quit smoking and do otherwise obviously healthy behaviors on the endless list of shoulds. Some of you will stick to your plans. Some will become sidelined and fall into the familiar embrace of guilt and shame at the end of this year, only to repeat the cycle until life hits you over the head with a sledgehammer as to why these healthy behaviors were a good idea in the first place.
Here's my advice to you on what would help all of us. Some of it has a research-base, others are just common sense I've picked up from the past 15 years of end-of-life care. It's a good idea to have these as general lifestyle choices, not just for the first few months of the year.
1) Seriously, exercise. It's the best medicine. Start out slow. Your goal should be about 20-30 minutes of moderate exercise 3-4 times a week. This is the therapeutic dose that has positive effects on your heart, mind and emotions. More is fine, less is not as good. If you don't exercise, see a doctor first to make sure you don't have cardiomyopathy or something like that. Don't wait.
2) That meditation practice you've heard and read so much about? Guess what? It really works. You'll be hearing more and more about it this year. Stick to it. Spend some time every day meditating. The therapeutic dose is about 20 minutes twice a day. Few people can do that if they haven't sat down to meditate before. You can find some guidance here on how to get started. You have time for all the stress and worry in your life, you might as well squeeze some stress management into it.
3) Say "I love you" to everyone you love more often. Say it every day. Love is powerful, way more powerful than any of our individuality. When you're in a hard emotional place, a loving companion, be it a spouse, partner, child, friend or parent can usually make it all better just by being there. If you don't have direct companionship, use social media. Reach out and get connected.
4) Listen to music. Turn on music every day. Use it in the background. It can structure times of great stress and uncertainty. If you're grieving, it's a much more wholesome way to drown out the silence of your home than the jarring sounds of television.
5) Laugh every day. Find something funny to read, watch or listen to. In all the commotion about self-care, laughter is often left out. The best way to transcend hardship sometimes is to laugh at the absurd predicament we're all in. Emotional pain isn't funny-- what's funny is the nearly comical way we go about our lives, obsessed with what turn out to be the tiniest, most insignificant details. We lose the big picture. Can't find something to laugh about? Here's a start.
The most important thing to remember about your resolutions: you're more likely to stick to them if they are about what you want to do rather than what you don't want to do.
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